Fellow Lions

"I don't care about what you think, mister!"

I read the above article 3 times. Simply because the first time I read it, I cringed. I've never been a big fan of articles that advocate this form of individualism. While I am a huge advocate of autonomy and independence,   often people end up using their privilege of individualism to be, forgive my language, an ass. Why I've read this article 3 times was because I was trying to avoid my confirmation bias and prejudice towards such articles . And after reading it the third time, I think I have a more balance and mild impression towards the article.

First off, I must agree that approval-seeking is draining, waste time, someone will always hate you and you can't control what they think. If there's anything 23 years of life has taught me is that external voices will eat you up from the inside if you give them total control. So in that sense, approval-seeking is as the article say, unneccessary.

Then, there are those who equate approval-seeking with taking into consideration what people are saying, because in some way, if we ask someone else for their opinion, it means we are giving them a chance to have a say in what we do - similar to approval seeking. But it's not. and I assure you it is not.

"A truly strong person does not need the approval of others more than a lion needs approval of sheep" -Vernon Howard-

But what about fellow lions? I'm not sure why the author compared lions to sheep, because one eats the other, and even if they don't the whole sentence reeks of superiority. And that's why it's easy to become an ass. Because you think you are better than others thus you stand alone, and no one will ever understand you. Insert scene of man in cowboy hat sitting on a rock with gusts of wind blowing. all. alone.

More than that,  there is a distinct mention of not to care what others think. Unless you are like Steve Jobs who managed to get away with being an ass and still be idolized, people will matter, one point or another. It's not a coincidence that the regrets of most people on their death bed revolve around relationships. I've wrote about something similar to this in a different blog, specifically in terms of leadership.

Yes, at one point or another, you will need to stand up for what you believe in. And yes, you might be standing all alone with eyes glaring at you for being a menace, eyes pleading you to sit down instead of bringing  all this "shame" - eyes that judge. At that precise moment, just one pair of eyes that gleams at your courage to stand up could make it all worth it. Eyes that understand. Will it be a pair of eyes of a sheep? a fellow lion? or anyone like or unlike you? I don't know. What I know is, at that point, people will matter. You can go on your rocky road, and you should because you started it. But when it comes to some pothole quicksand, having a hand really makes it easier to get out.

So don't seek approval. Seek the words of those who have the interest of your heart. Got energy? Expend it to seek approval from yourself FIRST of all, but not only you, some might have interesting stuff to say as well ;)