Inspired by this talk; Amy Cuddy : Your body language shapes who you are
As a Psychology student, the first thing I always (I'm betting on a 99% chance) get is "you are reading my mind" or something by those lines whenever I meet someone for the first time and introduce my background. Other than being slightly annoyed and often wondering if I indeed did miss such a class, it's a reflection of how prevalent the concept body language is in the society. Sure, psychologists are associated with the ability read body language (seriously, I need to look up my course outlines), more than that, this association rings to us that humans generally are familiar with body language, and the consequences of it.
My own stand on body language is I've never been a big fan, simply because of the negative connotations often associated with it; say pick-up artists, fortune-tellers etc. It's one of those really useful concepts that when grasped well can be use for good, or evil. Unfortunately, the negative wiring of my mind seems to remind me more of the negative aspects. However, in the recent years, I've become more accustomed to the idea of body language as a concept that can develop individuals. In the talk mentioned above, Amy Cuddy speaks about using body postures to "talk to yourself" and make you feel empowered prior to better deal with socially threatening situations.
A core theme in the talk which I interpreted with my understanding:
"Although biology (i.e. hormones) plays a significant role in making you feel a particular way, you can also manipulate this mind-body connection which goes in a loop, to use body postures which trick the brain into producing the hormones that help you feel what you want to feel"
And there were reminders that this is not meant to assert power over others (which could still be possible depending on the individual's intention); hence, why I use the term empowering rather than power as the latter seem to reflect dominance over others. Also, from the talk, the experiment seem to have told participants that they will be doing either a high-power pose or low-power pose which from my opinion could already prime their thoughts to actually think they will be powerful after doing whatever pose and vice-versa. That conclusion is more similar to self-fulfilling prophecy which is really not a bad thing, cause if just by thinking then you can feel it, it's perhaps even simpler to carry out than a particular behaviour.
So. My babble above is my opinion on how we can empower ourselves, and one way is through body language. Amy Cuddy mentioned "tiny tweaks can lead to big changes" which I resonate with because I believe that sometimes the biggest changes, comes from the smallest steps.
What made the talk post-worthy though, was this - fake it till you make it. Or in her terms, fake it till you become it. While that is really motivating, and is often the case, I find that to internalize something you really don't want to believe in can be more dejecting that than accepting who you are. This does not invalidate her study, but what I'm saying is there is a need for self-acceptance, or checking where you are before launching into a whole "I can do this!" So yes, the little tweak may include some extra steps after all.
Take this article for example; which premise lies in how positive thinking may backfire if we don't feel confident in ourselves to start with. Personally, I agree. It becomes so stressful to know you should be able to do it if you keep thinking positively but yet you keep feeling like you are fighting against yourself. That does not mean both articles are wrong, though it does signify that we need to know WHY we are doing it. Say, I am going to an interview, and I'm shit nervous. I could use those body postures to empower myself and who knows, I aced the interview. In the long run, I find myself using the body postures to help me whenever I feel insecure or anxious; yet, even when I'm leading a team, I don't feel comfortable, don't feel like I belong. The problem is not that I couldn't be empowered, but why I want to be empowered. Is this really a position I want? Or am I comfortable actually be an expert in the background? Am I seeking to empower myself because the society has a silent pre-requisite that suggests everyone should be awesome because being okay means something is wrong with you or because I really want to change myself?
You can fake it till you make it, or even become it. But if you don't understand why you want it, why you do it, it will be difficult to really internalize it. So why, why do you want whatever change you want?
In concluding this long blog post, I resonate with Amy Cuddy's proposition that we need to share all these empowering tips, because people who need it, often don't have the resources.
And I'll share my proposition, which is power upon who you really are, if you're going to fake it, fake it for a truth you believe.
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