Money Not Enough

What if money didn't matter?

I came across this video the other day, and the core of the video asks the question above and explains how we should be happy rather than acquiring money. I agree. and disagree. Perhaps its the seemingly extreme-either-or-point-of-view implied by the video, perhaps it's my daftness and lack of experience in the "real working world", but let me explain my perspective.

A friend's comment on the video went something like this "Many will agree, but few will actually take the step to it", it referring to the theme of the video above. I don't think this means anybody at fault, but it does hint at each of us having different priorities, or at least, different ways of acquiring our real, valued priorities.

Let me just say this, I think we're antagonizing money too much. And I honestly don't think money per se is at fault here more than our attitude towards it. The thing about proposing the pursuit of money (or other materials) as a definite trade off for happiness often seems like an extreme. Why do we equate the chase for money as the run away from happiness? Pardon my naivety, but is it not possible to pursuit both, with its level of priority being different during different phases of life? It's rather common nowadays to hear people romanticizing only those who follow their heart, to pursue whatever passion they have without considering money at all. That a diet of pizzas, sleeping on different couches and the occasional drunken hangover night becomes the symbol of #YOLO and follow-my-heart. What about those who seek to delay gratification of personal happiness and focus on ensuring the well-being of themselves and loved ones? The famous Maslow's hierarchy (while damned by much of the research community) I think sets the idea quite well that we need to get our basic life needs (i.e. roof above our head, safe environment) prior to the pursuit of more abstract concepts that further empower our life's meaning - and money does not mean we will definitely get that, though it can be a large assistant.

I know people whose parents did not start doing a job because they are #YOLO-ing and follow their heart; it was a job that could provide for their family, and it became a job they love. I know I can sit here today because my dad has chosen a pathway that allows the pursuit of a certain level of comfort for his family. Does he love his job with a passion? I'm not sure, I tried asking him that, but the answers I got were more or less revolving around the idea that we do what we have to do and with much blessing, the pathway has paved more pathways to acquire happiness while not forgetting the certain level of comfort.

I know people who hold a full-time job they may or may not enjoy with their passion, but it gives them the resources to pursue their real passion albeit at a more "part-time" rate. And I can't say they are any less happier than those who went all out to pursue their passion and antagonize the idea of material pursuits. My friend reminded me the other day that we don't have to be afraid of being labelled as sell-out just because we chose to pursue a certain level of material resources at certain stages in life. He also mentioned how people tend to put those who go all out and leave their families in shambles, and how we put them on the pedestal of bravery. While I agree a certain level of sacrifice is needed to achieve the greatness in life, my personal values in life don't find me agreeing with it totally.

Money is not our enemy. The pursuit of it is not our enemy. Our mindset of this pursuit, that's the darkness we have to be afraid of. When the never-enough mindset sets in, when the pursuit becomes the priority all the time, that's the source of unhappiness. Again, even for someone like my dad who understands the need to provide for his family, and has worked tirelessly for it can ask me "How much is enough?" and proceed to tell me that it will never be enough, and we will soon tire before anything ever becomes enough.

Again, I believe in passion, I really do believe in the the fire that lights up one's eyes. It's an amazing sight most of us never forget, and never forget feeling when we are called to its time. But ask yourself, are we putting those who antagonize material pursuits because we truly believe the pursuit of it is evil, or are we projecting our hopes and secret wishes on those who dare step beyond such pursuits? Because right this moment, I can tell you that those hopes and wishes can come true, without you sacrificing everything. It's not an either-or. It's a matter of understanding where and when is enough.

I hope as I begin my career, this particular piece of writing is something that grounds me. Who knows if I can still vouch for the same when I begin my career, when put into the "real world"? But I sure do hope that my values don't get lost in this pursuit.

(Image source: http://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000025881042-y56l6c-crop.jpg?f6d22d0)

What do you trust?

P.S: Have a look at this article. It's gives an interesting insight on how financial planning should be based on our true values. I believe it provides a window of the possibility of achieving a certain balance and optimization between comfort and meaning.

"Yea, that journey wasn't too hard anyway"

Have you ever felt small, unworthy and constantly wondering why our life is not like someone else's? Which almost always sound more amazing than ours when the primitive brain takes over. I know I've felt like that, and it can be a constant struggle to say that mine is enough; without a good or bad judgment but an "enough" that brings inner peace. I think I've mentioned before in one of my previous posts about how so many external stimulation leaves us feeling that we need to respond to each and every one, and when we can't, we feel like we missed out on something which could potentially make us feel so damn awesome. There is a term for this;  FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)  is the hip term that describes the emotions that arise (often negative) when we perceive to be missing out on something that is life-changing (really?).

Though if we give more thought to it, if it's even substantially true that this other person has the most amazing life that you wish you had, what makes us think the process of getting there was anything but NOT amazing? In an era where everything is publicized and taken at face value, the complexity of human beings become very much one-dimensional. Whether it is a FB status (guilty!) or an Instagram photo (double guilty!), we very quickly assume that one facet of this person's life IS the person's life. While there are those who constantly publicize aspects of their life that are more towards the negative end, no one actually prefers downward comparison, so we just brush them of as emo/*insert judging term*.

But when it comes to photos, statuses, words, blog posts *grin* that reflect more positive aspects of life, it's so easy to assume that these come easy to whoever who is posting them. And while technology is convenient, we surprisingly don't document the process of coming to the positive point, making it so much easier to assume that the positive point just happens and that for the rest of us, it should also magically appear so.

When I spoke about this with a couple of people, one thought came to my mind. More than being ungrateful for what we already have, which honestly, if you are sitting here reading this post, it's probably a life loaded with blessings, we are invalidating stories of other individuals. And that makes me uncomfortable, I actually felt sad.

What if I really fought my way to whatever blessed phase in my life, just to have people tell me "Yea, that journey wasn't too hard anyway", I would feel totally ouch. We can argue that what other people perceive of your journey is merely their perspective but I think it's time we all give some credit to hard work, and commitment to the process. Not just judging the end-all which is nothing but what's most obvious to the naked eye. While there's no need to dig into deeper meaning all the time (if curtains are blue, they are blue, not a symbol of the writer's melancholy! =_=), it would be nice to appreciate how technology has made it much easier to see beauty of so many different individuals. And to frame that beauty as something that came through a process, to believe that everyone has a story, rather than to pass judgment wondering why you don't have that beauty.

Here's to being grateful for the beauty you have that is waiting for you to realise (if you have not already), and appreciating the different beauties in life for what it means, and not just what it seems.